On my machine-

a potholder (with many more to come-I have none to speak of right now-ouch!)

handkerchief curtains (they were my Granny’s)

On my camera…

Baby Dawson-6 month photo shoot

I have 3 photo shoots waiting to be finished up editing on my camera right now. I had my first wedding (soo fun and very nerve wracking-no re-do’s!), met a new family for a shoot, my nephew, and a newborn photo shoot this weekend. So many beautiful people, I really enjoy being able to peek inside of, and being apart of people’s love for a moment.

On my heart...

-Friends who lost someone so dear to them…Wylder Nation-No Words

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**our little girl**

getting ready for the baby-PINK!

I am 27 weeks today. Still plenty of time, but feeling ready to get a few things done. Thinking and talking about her name every day. And just loving on her as she grows inside of me. I am amazed, yet again, that there is a little living person inside of me-I really enjoy growing children.

**Trek**

It’s a wonderful, yet hard cluster right now of Trek. His 3rd birthday is coming up exactly one month from today. I am having an easier time around 2-3 year old boys-I almost enjoy it, taking a moment to imagine Trek and how he would be. We booked a weekend at Great Wolf Lodge for his birthday and Conner’s (they are 7 days apart). We spent his 1st birthday there, and that’s all I could imagine us doing this year.

The baby is due just one week before the 2nd anniversary of Trek’s death. She is due on the 13th of June and he died on the 21st. I know its meant to be for so many reasons, but it keeps me thinking. Her day of birth will always be days from his day of death.

I am going through all of Trek’s things, and since we only had him as a baby, all his things are baby things. It has been special and tearful. What can she use that is not too boyish, what can I re-make that was his to fit her, what do I save, what do I give away?

This is our last baby, so there is no reason to keep the tubs of little boys’ clothes anymore. Thankfully Jarrett’s brother is having a son soon, so they are going to a special place, but I am still a big boob about it.

I know mixed in with my Trek sadness is also this is the last baby sadness. I do feel ready to move onto our next phase, I am ok with this girl being our last, but I think every mother mourns a little when its all officially over. 

6 little boys wore these clothes-they are full of soooo much love, onto baby #7 for a little more lovin

I have more clothes and things to go through. Trek only grew big enough to wear 9 month clothes, so getting rid of bigger sizes is not as painful. I saved Peyton and Conner’s special outfits if they want them one day for their sons. I am packing things of Trek’s for Peyton and Conner to have, and for our daughter to use-to wear or maybe her baby dolls to wear. I have a couple boxes of his things for Jarrett and me to save forever, and go through any time we want to ‘feel’ or ‘see’ him tangibly (when we have a bigger house, I can put it all out).

I put more and more of his things around the house every day. The boys talk about him more than ever since he is everywhere in their sight-there have been tears and many conversations the last few months about their brother. He is soo very loved. I wish more than anything his sister could live with him as we did. Even though I know in a very special place, that they already know each other, and have met before I will ever meet her myself.