I finally caught up on my sleep last night! It was so nice, I went to bed around 6 pm and now I am the only one awake having some alone time at 5 am. I have had such a hard time sleeping since Trek died. We all usually start getting sleepy and head to bed around 10 or 11 pm but I can’t fall asleep until around 3 or 4 in the morning. Sometimes it is nice, I look at pictures of Trek, catch up with old friends by email, or I journal all about the fun things we did that day. Sometimes it is awful and sad. I look at pictures of Trek and cry until I have no more tears left. I told Jarrett what is hard is it feels like a prison those nights.
I was listening to Bob Marley’s “3 Little Birds” song yesterday, don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. We sing that song all the time, it is one of our favorites and I do believe it. Here I am with 2 beautiful children, with only happy memories and no regrets of a 3rd child and a strong wonderful husband. But I can’t help but feel a little off when that song comes on, sometimes I sing it through tears. Because even though I will be alright it will only be part of me. Some part of me is not alright because it is gone with Trek.
Me missing Trek and not sleeping does not make me sad, it gives me peace. (even though sometimes it is soo annoying!) It is a tangible reminder that he is real and how much I love him. He is so worth missing! look at this precious face!
We have had a very busy last couple of days. Some of our friends from Maui are on their honeymoon in Chiang Mai and they invited us to come and visit them! The prospect of getting to touch and see a real life friend instead of talk over the internet was just too much-we had to go! The only thing is Chiang Mai is 134 kilometers away from Pai. I did a little research to see how crazy we were to attempt the journey by moped with 2 children and could not find a whole lot of info. I was mainly just making sure no one said, “DONT DO IT!”, but no one had really done it, so that was our cue to go for it!
It took 3 hours by bus to get from Chiang Mai up into the mountains of Pai. It took us 6 hours by motorbike to get down the mountains! It was all fun and no pain, so we were thrilled, but soo tired. We got to our hotel, stripped down to take a hot shower only to look at the clock and see we were supposed to meet our friends 2 minutes ago. So back goes on our dirty clothes and we ran out to grab a tuk tuk (no more scooter for our sore butts for that night!). We arrived at the Night Bazzaar to meet Jen and Colt right when they pulled up-perfect timing!
Besides looking like dirty vagabonds, we had such a fun and relaxing night catching up and swapping adventure stories (they had a rockin honeymoon!).
I have tons of pictures, I just can’t upload them now since my camera is in the hotel room and I’m out in the lobby so I don’t wake up my famliy (aka I accidently locked myself out).
I hope my sleepless nights get a little better or at least last only until 1 am just enough time for me to make googly eyes at Trek’s pictures and drift off. At least I now i know what can combat my sleeplessness-a 6 hour moped ride! It knocks me right out.
We had planned on heading back to Pai today so we could celebrate Peyton’s 7th birthday at the house where all his presents are hiding, but he requested we stay in Chiang Mai for his birthday. It was actually a great request because it will extend his celebration to 2 days since I have a whole party planned back at the house too. He wants a cell phone to call his friends and Nana back in the States so we are going to go shopping for one today and see whatever other fun we can find! (that will definately include a Starbucks!)
I think I might sneak off on a tuk-tuk while everyone is asleep and get one now, if only I could figure out how to get back in the room for my shoes…