“worry about your own self” I scolded myself in my head today. Peyton and I were cruising through the countryside of Thailand heading back to our new house. Peyton was talking about if and why mammoths were extinct and why people killed all the buffalo, it was actually an interesting conversation, but I was lost in my own thoughts. I was thinking of a few life tips for Jarrett to make him a better person and in return that would surely make me a better one.
I had just passed a sign that read “Pai-in love”, and it sparked a thought which led me to think, “i need to let Jarrett know we need to be more lovey dovey, that would add some spice to our lives and make it a little more like when we were dating”. Then I thought, “or you could just be more lovey dovey and that is a guarantee that Jarrett would respond in kind”.
I thought about my tendency to try to fix the world around me in order to make my life better. How I spend so much energy on worrying about how others affect me when I could just use that energy to have a happy day. It seems like when I see something I want changed in my life I almost always look to Jarrett to fix it or blame him for it not being perfect in the first place.
what a silly thought
Then I knew exactly what I needed to do. Clear my mind of what anyone else does around me and just focus on being the best Chelsea I can be. In reality the very extra thought that Jarrett should contribute to this effort makes it even more difficult to achieve my goal. The only one who can truly make my life wonderful and beautiful is me.
So my new motto for the next few days, is “worry about your own self Chelsea”. I have complete control to make every day the best day ever, I know that will be contagious to my family and in turn we will have have a rockin fun life.
(oooh Jarrett is going to love this! ha, no nagging for a few days!)