Trek passed away today at 1 pm Thailand time on June 21, 2012 in my arms.
He had a hard night last night throwing up, Jarrett and I kept getting up and snuggling him. When we woke up this morning we went about our day as usual. He was being his cute, snuggly self, but around 10 am he had a seizure.
It really scared Jarrett and I, but we knew that seizures could be a part of Niemann Pick so we just held him and sang to him. After his seizure was over he was still out of it, so I sat on the bed and loved on him for over an hour while Jarrett packed up our stuff since we were moving hotels.
During his seizure I was worried he was dying so I called everyone to come over and tell Trek goodbye. We gave him lots of hugs and kisses, but then he came out of it and seemed a little better.
We got all loaded up in our car and Trek woke up and gave us all a smile and was back to himself again. We headed to the mall to get a cell phone for Jarrett so we could call the hospice nurse and ask her about Trek’s seizures.
I stayed in the car with Trek and while the boys and Jarrett were gone Trek started to have another seizure. I got really scared that he was dying so I was sobbing and begging him to wait for Jarrett and the boys to come back, so they could tell him good-bye.
I told him about the day I got pregnant with him and how I met Auntie and Tina at the park and told them. I have a picture of him in my belly from that first day on the beach.
I told him how my whole pregnancy with him that me and his brothers would go to the beach almost everyday and swim in the ocean and get my belly tanned so he could be warm in the sun.
I told him how I wanted to have him at home so bad so I could keep him safe and warm but they would not let me since I had high blood pressure. I told him thank you for making my dreams come true and coming at home anyways.
I told him how magical it felt him coming out of me and how he had the best daddy in the world that caught him when he came into this world.
I told him not to be scared, that my Paw-Paw who had already left was the sweetest most protective grandpa and that he would be waiting for him with is arms out and he would hold him and love him until I could get there to hold him again.
I told him there would be sunshine and rainbows and the warmest light and he would be so happy and not be in any pain.
When I told him that last thing he smiled at me with his eyes closed. There were tears coming down his cheeks, but he was not crying.
I kissed him again and again and told him how perfect he was.
Jarrett and the boys came back out and I told him I thought he was going to die while they were gone. We raced to our hotel so that we could get in our room to snuggle him.
We sang him the song that Jarrett made up for him the whole way and we told him how much we loved him. I tried to nurse him, hoping he was not leaving us and he nursed for a few seconds, it was so perfect.
Right when we pulled up to our hotel he took his last breath. I was too scared to see if he was still breathing, so I told Jarrett to go get the room and we ran up.
We laid him on the bed and he had the sweetest smile on his face and he was not with us anymore in his little body.
I took a warm bath with him and put him in a very soft, handsome outfit.
We told him good-bye over and over and how special he was and how much we loved him. We snuggled him and held him for over 2 hours.
I feel so numb right now, I just wanted to let everyone know about our sweet angel and if you could please send all of your love and prayers right now.